Warning signs of sexual abuse in children (& things you can do to help children stay safe).
- Joanna Ziobronowicz
- Feb 17
- 3 min read
Child sexual abuse is one of the most disturbing topics, yet it often goes unnoticed.
It has been reported that children most vulnerable to experience sexual abuse are those between the ages 7 and 13. (Finkelhor, 1994).
This is an extremely vulnerable age, as children often don’t realise their rights, and often are ashamed to talk about the abuse. What is more, parents often miss the signs of the abuse, or deny them altogether.
Children exposed to sexual abuse may feel threatened, manipulated, or simply too ashamed or scared to admit what is happening. Some of them will think it’s their ‘fault’ and feel petrified to talk to their parents.
If you’re a parent and you have spotted a change in behaviour in your child, it may be a sign that your kid was, or is being sexual abused.
Predators that abuse children often are great manipulators, and swear kids into secrecy. They may bribe them, or convince them to stay quiet and not tell anyone. This is one of the reason’s many cases go unnoticed, leading to long-term implications for psychological health of children who have been abused.
There are, however certain signs in children we can observe that can be indicators of a potential sexual abuse. According to ‘Parents Protect’, the following can be signs that your child is experiencing sexual abuse:
The child acting in a sexual way with toys or object
Suddenly having nightmares or other sleeping problems
Becoming withdrawn or very clingy
Personality changes or suddenly seeming insecure
Regressing to younger behaviours, such as bedwetting
Unaccountable fear of particular places or people
Outbursts of anger
Changes in eating habits
Physical signs, such as unexplained soreness or bruises around private parts
Becoming secretive
Having unexplained gifts such as toys, money, mobile phone, expensive clothes.
Pain, discolouration, bleeding or discharges in genitals, anus or mouth
Persistent or recurring pain during urination and bowel movements
Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training
While these are not always predictors, they should raise your awareness to start a conversation with your child. Remember, communication is number one priority.
In many cases you can help prevent these situations from happening by having conversations with your children about their safety. Warn them that certain suspicious behaviours and acts must be immediately discussed, and help them understand that many predators are people that may know such as acquaintances, neighbours, teachers, even family members. It is important to educate children about consent, boundaries, and teach them how to say ‘no’ to situations that require assertiveness.
Things you can do to help children stay safe:
Create a safe space for conversations, where kids have the chance to explore their feelings, emotions, and needs. Listen to them, give them the opportunity to vent OFTEN, using IMAGO Dialogue method of communication (mirroring and empathising before creating judgments and opinions).
Monitor their behaviour and if something is suspicious, to talk to the kids, or their closest circle to find out what may be causing the change in behaviour, don’t WAIT, address the potential problem at its core before it becomes too late.
Educate the kids about inappropriate behaviour: people touching their intimate parts, offering gifts, taking too much interest with them, too much flattery, and too much time alone with children as warning flags.
Do background checks on people who raise suspicions. In the US, thanks to Megan’s law, there is a register of sexual offenders. In the UK, it’s not public, but thanks to Sarah’s Law, you can enquire about an individual by gong to the police (Child Sex Offender Disclosure Scheme). While disclosure scheme is not a guarantee, when you have children and suspect someone in your neighbourhood to be an offender, you may be able to obtain the information from the police about the individual.
Sign your kids to sexual prevention courses, or activities that will boost their confidence and assertiveness skills, such as martial arts or self-defence training.
When you ensure children that can trust you, creating safe environment for daily chats, it makes it easier for them to come to you when problems arise. They may not necessarily be related to abuse, but may be triggered by recent life events, such as problems at school, or experiencing traumatic events such as death in the family, etc. The only way to find out, is through questioning and reading the signs (both physical and psychological) of the child’s behaviour.
References:
Comments